Have you Felt Stuck in Anger?

Jul 1, 2020

Have you ever felt stuck in anger?  If so, have you noticed how the resentment you are clutching is holding you captive in negativity?
What I am working on is recognizing when and why I become angry and then noticing how it is affecting me; how anger is taking me away from my focus on what I was doing prior to being triggered, and causing internal anxiety?
I will give you an example.  My son borrowed my car.  I told him to bring it back by 10 am so that I could go to yoga.  When he didn’t answer my calls and texts, I got angry.  I started three times to call AT&T to cut off his phone, which was a complete interruption to the Chopin Ballade I was so intently working on moments prior.  Recognizing the downward spiral I was heading toward, I called an Uber.  I noticed myself still upset.  I could tell because my thoughts were distracted.  Instead of calmly getting myself ready, I was scheming my plan to punish the behavior.  I even threatened him by text.  Wow, how vicious.  Revenge never gets us what we want or closer to being happy.   Once I noticed this toxic pattern, I decided to start breathing fully and getting back into the moment.   Once in the Uber, I realized that I would be on time and began to notice my surroundings.  Areas I never see,  because I am usually driving myself.
My point is that I had to give up the way of being that was clearly incongruous to my well- being and my emotional peace.  I had to give up what sucks!!!!
Another example was the day I excitedly rushed to get to the beach before the sun went down.  As I was ready to back into a parking stall, an angry driver cussed me out viciously.   I was seriously triggered!  I had to breathe deeply and decide in that moment that I would find a perfect parking spot.  Thanks to my shift in mental energy, the next spot I found was directly across from the monkey bars.  I snuck in a little work out and then walked through the park only to find myself in a Hula training!  I stopped to participate and had a blast!  Afterward I walked to the beach and ran into my brand new intern who told me how much she loves being a part of our Center.  It was almost magical.  I couldn’t have orchestrated the afternoon more perfectly.
When we watch our thoughts, and shift the screen in our mind to a more positive station, we create IN THE MOMENT MIRACLES.  We don’t need to control everything!  I believe “go with the flow”, is most effective!  Go with the flow like the waves in the ocean.
In a recent PSI training I took,  I was invited to Imagine someone videotaping me for an entire week .
 What would my reaction be?  Would I date myself?  Would I hire myself?  What behavior would I want to get rid of?
My son picked me up from Yoga at noon as I requested on my umpteenth text.   But even before that, I felt myself scheming consequences.  When I noticed those thoughts, I decided to instead visualize that he would indeed be there at noon to pick me up.    I set him up to WIN by visualizing what I truly wanted to create.   He immediately apologized for not being home in time earlier.
Whew!  Now I need to figure out to gently teach my son to accept consequences without being angry at me or himself.  I told my children when they were little, that If I get mad at them, I am in actuality mad at myself.  This awareness empowers me with an opportunity to forgive myself and SHIFT.  It doesn’t really matter what expectations I had on myself.  We are all doing the best we can in the moment – when we are being aware of our thoughts.

 

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