Have you ever felt stuck in anger? If so, have you noticed how the resentment you are clutching is holding you captive in negativity?
What I am working on is recognizing when and why I become angry and then noticing how it is affecting me; how anger is taking me away from my focus on what I was doing prior to being triggered, and causing internal anxiety?
I will give you an example. My son borrowed my car. I told him to bring it back by 10 am so that I could go to yoga. When he didn’t answer my calls and texts, I got angry. I started three times to call AT&T to cut off his phone, which was a complete interruption to the Chopin Ballade I was so intently working on moments prior. Recognizing the downward spiral I was heading toward, I called an Uber. I noticed myself still upset. I could tell because my thoughts were distracted. Instead of calmly getting myself ready, I was scheming my plan to punish the behavior. I even threatened him by text. Wow, how vicious. Revenge never gets us what we want or closer to being happy. Once I noticed this toxic pattern, I decided to start breathing fully and getting back into the moment. Once in the Uber, I realized that I would be on time and began to notice my surroundings. Areas I never see, because I am usually driving myself.
My point is that I had to give up the way of being that was clearly incongruous to my well- being and my emotional peace. I had to give up what sucks!!!!
Another example was the day I excitedly rushed to get to the beach before the sun went down. As I was ready to back into a parking stall, an angry driver cussed me out viciously. I was seriously triggered! I had to breathe deeply and decide in that moment that I would find a perfect parking spot. Thanks to my shift in mental energy, the next spot I found was directly across from the monkey bars. I snuck in a little work out and then walked through the park only to find myself in a Hula training! I stopped to participate and had a blast! Afterward I walked to the beach and ran into my brand new intern who told me how much she loves being a part of our Center. It was almost magical. I couldn’t have orchestrated the afternoon more perfectly.
When we watch our thoughts, and shift the screen in our mind to a more positive station, we create IN THE MOMENT MIRACLES. We don’t need to control everything! I believe “go with the flow”, is most effective! Go with the flow like the waves in the ocean.
In a recent PSI training I took, I was invited to Imagine someone videotaping me for an entire week .
What would my reaction be? Would I date myself? Would I hire myself? What behavior would I want to get rid of?
My son picked me up from Yoga at noon as I requested on my umpteenth text. But even before that, I felt myself scheming consequences. When I noticed those thoughts, I decided to instead visualize that he would indeed be there at noon to pick me up. I set him up to WIN by visualizing what I truly wanted to create. He immediately apologized for not being home in time earlier.
Whew! Now I need to figure out to gently teach my son to accept consequences without being angry at me or himself. I told my children when they were little, that If I get mad at them, I am in actuality mad at myself. This awareness empowers me with an opportunity to forgive myself and SHIFT. It doesn’t really matter what expectations I had on myself. We are all doing the best we can in the moment – when we are being aware of our thoughts.